I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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