so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
