We're facebook friends in real life
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She needs sedatives and a leash
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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