People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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