Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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