# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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