I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
