So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
we're so committed to being not committed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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