Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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