How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
