i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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