i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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