Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
