I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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