So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
