what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
