Your face is a jimmy john
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
