Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
