do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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