he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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