Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize