I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
