This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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