u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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