It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
