Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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