Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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