Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
