Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
