you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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