i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
