it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
