capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
