I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
