i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
