Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
