Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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