these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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