Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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