Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
