We won't sleep together?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
