one two three fourrrrnication!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
