Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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