my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
