She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
