I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
