Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
