DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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