why didn't you poke me back
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
