You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
